


The Tie That Binds Us

by EdinaSaunders



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:22:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdinaSaunders/pseuds/EdinaSaunders
Summary: Harper Cassidy was Hannah's best friend, or so she thought. Now, mourning her death, she'll connect with the one person who can understand her grief and help her heal; Hannah's very own mother. Hannah is the tie that binds them to each other.
Relationships: Olivia Baker/Harper Cassidy (OC), Olivia Baker/Original Female Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	1. Out Of The Rain

Harper stood across the hall in front of Hannah's locker at the end of the school day, just staring. She should have been crying. She felt like crying, but for some reason the tears wouldn’t come. She hadn’t known Hannah for that long, just barely over a year, but she quickly became friends with her. It hadn't even been ten days since Hannah had committed suicide so maybe there was a chance that it hadn’t fully sunken in yet. So, instead of falling, the tears only stung the back of her eyes as she stared at Hannah's locker. 

"Hey, you alright," Tony asked her. His hand on her shoulder jarred her out of her numbed stupor.

"Yeah," Harper lied through her teeth. "I’m okay."

"Need a ride home?"

"I think I’ll walk, but thanks Tony," Harper politely declined. He’d been a real friend to her since the winter formal and that was exactly what she needed right now. That, and a little space to clear her head. Tony let her be, and Harper stayed fixed at Hannah's locker for several more minutes before beginning the walk home.

Her walk was quiet and reflective, the overcast weather matching her mood. It threatened to rain on her the whole way. Her route took her past the Bakers' house, where Harper paused to look at it. She remembered the first time Hannah had brought her there.

_It was late summer, and Harper had been eager to get to the theater to make her annual trip to the movies for her birthday. It was a tradition her mother had ingrained in her from a young age, and though her mother had long abandoned it, Harper still went by herself every year. In her rush, she’d run into a girl about her age who was on her way out. The girl's popcorn went flying. "Glad I’m off shift," the girl had joked. Harper smiled, glad to know she hadn’t just ruined someone's day._

_"I’m Harper," she’d introduced._

_"Hannah," the other girl replied._

_"Would you like to join me," Harper asked. "I feel bad for spilling your popcorn and I think I ought to make it up to you."_

_"Yeah, sure, I guess," Hannah agreed with a chuckle, "what were you going to see?"_

_"I’m not sure yet," Harper admitted. "I usually have my movie decided on well before my birthday, but I guess time got away from me."_

_"Wait, it’s your birthday?"_

_"My seventeenth," Harper confirmed._

_They had seen some unmemorable comedy afterwards, and Harper walked home with Hannah when it was over. "It’s late," Hannah said. "Let me ask my mom if you can stay over."_

_"Really? We just met," Harper remarked with a laugh._

_"Let’s just say I’m fairly certain you’re not a serial killer, so I'm not too worried."_

Harper smiled fondly at the memory. It was then that the rain began to pour and Harper herself finally begin to cry. The rain quickly began to soak her clothes and soon she couldn’t tell the tears from the raindrops as they ran down her face. "Harper," Olivia Baker called, her voice cutting through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement in heavy drops. "Harper, is that you? Come inside. Please? Get out of the rain."

Harper found herself walking up the driveway before she’d made the conscious decision to move. "You’re soaking wet," Olivia said, ushering Harper inside. Harper shivered when she’d stepped fully inside the house. She hadn’t yet stopped by the house since Hannah's death to give her condolences and she almost felt like an intruder. "Go dry off," Olivia gently urged, sounding equally authoritative and concerned. Harper made her way to the bathroom on autopilot and stripped out of her soggy clothes, grabbing a towel to wrap around her.

A few minutes later, a soft knock fell on the bathroom door and Harper opened it, knowing that Olivia would have a change of clothes for her. Something of Hannah's more than likely. Harper laughed to herself when she saw the tank top that Olivia had handed her. It was faded yellow from excessive wear and had a sunflower in the middle of the chest. It was the sleep shirt she’d left here the last time she had a sleepover with Hannah. She wondered if Olivia choosing this particular shirt was coincidence, or if she had remembered that it was hers. Accompanying the shirt was a pair of light gray sweatpants, much too long for her, but comfortable. They must have been Olivia's since she was quite a bit taller than her.

Harper came out of the bathroom, her hair now the only thing still damp. It would air dry in an hour or so. She was just glad to be inside and warm. "Do you want me to drive you home," Olivia offered. Harper didn’t respond right away. Home was a place she didn’t often want to be at. "Or you could stay here if you like. Andy isn’t home tonight, so I wouldn't mind the company."

"I couldn’t," Harper began to protest, finding her voice.

"You could," Olivia postulated. "Having you here almost makes it feel like Hannah is still here too."

Harper had to admit that she felt the same. She could look around this house and see Hannah grabbing snacks from the kitchen for their movie night, or hear her laugh at her dad's jokes. And who, more than the two of them, were mourning Hannah's loss more? Why shouldn't they find comfort in spending time with one another?

Harper put up no more arguments, and told Olivia that she would stay. She had the choice of the couch, or Hannah's room. She thought it best to stick to the couch. She wasn’t sure she was ready to go into Hannah's room again, let alone sleep there. Besides, the couch beat anything she could have hoped for at home. As for her mother, she’d text her in the morning. She probably wouldn’t even miss her.

Harper and Olivia stayed up to watch a couple of old sitcom reruns, made a little small talk, shared a memory or two about Hannah and Olivia finally bid her goodnight. Harper almost didn’t want her to leave, but she was tired. More tired than she realized. It only really kicked in when Olivia went to bed. With a yawn, Harper laid down on the couch which was somehow more comfortable than her own bed at home. She soon fell into a dreamless sleep, feeling Hannah was, in some way, right there with her.


	2. A Surprise Awaits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper recalls a fond memory of Hannah while looking at her locker, and something awaits her in her own locker.

Harper woke up the next morning in a weird sort of haze where she didn’t quite know what day it was at first. She blinked off the sleepiness and took in the room around her. Right, she was at the Bakers'. Harper fumbled for her phone on the couch for a minute before discovering that it had fallen to the floor during the night. Once she’d located it, she picked it up and checked her messages. One from Tony, asking he how she was doing like he did every morning, but nothing else. Figures. Not even an ounce of concern from Colleen. Harper hardly even bothered to call her 'mom' anymore. She hadn’t acted like a mother since Harper had turned thirteen.

Harper realized however, that she’d have to head home. It wasn’t that far, and it was still early. It was still a few minutes before seven in the morning. Hannah got up off the couch and stretched, folding the blanket she’d used and placing it over the back of the couch.

Going into the bathroom to grab her clothes from last night, which now hung dry over the shower, Harper texted Tony back. _I’m alright. I’ll see you later._ She decided not to mention that she’d spent the night over at the Bakers' house. He’d probably say she was crossing some sort of line and she wasn’t in the mood to defend herself. It’s not like she had planned it.

Harper checked over her belongings, figuring that she had everything she came with, and left before Olivia got up, feeling a bit guilty for not saying goodbye. Her walk home was quiet, most people still at home, possibly even still in bed, save for the odd jogger that passed her by. Harper opened her front door, the loud creak giving her away, but luckily her mother was not yet awake enough to care it seemed. Harper quickly dressed into her favorite yellow t shirt and pair of skinny jeans, pulled on her beat up tennis shoes, a light jacket, put her backpack back on and made for the door as quickly as possible.

"Where the hell were you last night," her mother's grating voice shouted as she reached the door.

Harper winced and paused about a foot from the door. She hadn’t quite made her escape as smoothly as she hoped. "Friend's house," Harper replied noncommittally.

"You don’t have any more of those, remember," her mother shot back.

"I came home, okay? Clearly I didn’t get kidnapped or murdered. Is that not good enough for you?" Not wanting to even wait for an answer, Harper went out and slammed the door behind her. She tried not to wear a sour expression for the duration of her walk to Liberty High, but it was harder than she imagined.

There was hardly anyone in the halls when she’d arrived around seven-thirty. A few of the more academically dedicated students were headed to the library for a zero hour study session, but that was about it. Harper made her way to her own locker, pausing for a brief glance at Hannah's on the opposite side of the hall, exactly across from hers. She remembered when she and Hannah had reached across the hallway, one hand on their respective lockers, the others reaching out to touch their fingers in the middle, claiming that they were locker buddies only separated by the width of a hallway. Harper smiled at the memory as she entered her locker combination.

When the door popped open she was greeted with the sight of a beat up old shoebox, one that she knew hadn’t been there the day before. On it was a note. _Don’t ask, just listen. Then pass them on. - Ryan._ Harper pulled the box out of her locker, took the note off and crumpled it in her hand. Somehow she just knew this had something to do with Hannah. Without taking her backpack off, Harper closed the locker again and took off, box in hand, down the hallway and to the exit.

She walked at a brisk pace, all the way to Eisenhower Park. There she sat on a bench, put the box next to her and with a deep breath in, lifted the lid. There laid a map and under it, a set of seven cassette tapes. Harper then turned to take her backpack off, and rummaged through it until she found her old portable cassette player that she’d bought at an antique store on a whim. Hannah had been fascinated when she showed her the device for the first time. Now she was actually going to use it to listen to something other than outdated pop albums from her mother's youth. Harper plugged her earbuds into it and put in the first tape, which had the number one written on it in permanent marker. She pressed play.

_"Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your...whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise."_

Harper hit stop and pulled the earbuds out of her ears as if they’d burned her. This couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t. Harper brought her knees up and hugged them to her chest, staring at the cassette player, willing it to disappear and have this all be a bad dream. It didn’t go anywhere. Of course not, what did she think this was, a movie? No, this ghost story was very real, and it was starring her and the girl she’d thought was her best friend. She supposed there wasn’t any avoiding it, so she put the earbuds back in and hit play again.

She sat there in Eisenhower Park for several hours that morning, listening to tape after tape. Each time she put a new one in, she felt nauseous. Hers was coming, but when? She made it all the way to tape number eight, which was Ryan's. She paused it there, and realized, if he had been the one to give her the tapes, that meant she was next, right? Tape number nine was going to be hers?

Harper finished Ryan's tape before packing them all up and sliding the shoebox into her backpack. She couldn’t sit in the park for this one. It felt too out in the open, too vulnerable. Dropping her feet to the ground and getting up, Harper reached for her backpack and slung it over one shoulder, adjusting it so it could be on both as she walked.

She couldn’t go anywhere public, there’d be too many questions as to why she wasn’t in school. She couldn’t exactly tell the truth, and she didn’t want to have to make up a lie. So that left home as her only real option. She could hole up in her room and start the next tape. Her tape, her own brain reminded her, as if it was taunting her.

Harper turned the key in the door and walked in, hoping her mother had gone elsewhere today. Harper breathed a sigh of relief when she was nowhere in sight. Still, she went to her bedroom and locked the door. She couldn’t have any interruptions, should her mother come home and want to question her. Her door was always shut, so as long as Harper kept quiet, her mother would never know she’d come back.

She pulled the box of tapes out of her backpack after she’d situated herself cross legged on her bed. Moment of truth, she found herself thinking. She was about to know why Hannah had considered her one of the thirteen reasons for her ending her life. She felt another wave of nausea hit her as she picked up the fifth tape and looked at it, the sharpied number nine glaring back at her. Now or never, she thought, better strap in.


	3. Harper's Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper sits down to listen to her own tape, and whatever else comes after, but is she ready to hear the truth of her part in Hannah's death?

_"Harper Cassidy, this one's for you. It broke my heart to put you on this tape, but you broke my spirit. Best friends are supposed to be there for one another right? At least, that’s what I thought."_

Harper felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks as Hannah talked about her and the reason she’d made it onto the tapes. What had she done that hurt Hannah so much? She couldn’t bring any specific instance to memory.

_"You were there through the good parts, almost all of them. You actually were most of the good parts, but when the bad parts came, there wasn’t a single time that you were there by my side. You left me alone to deal with it all. Your only crime was ignorance. You didn’t see what was happening because you simply weren’t around. While I can’t entirely blame you for that, I know that it would have made a difference if you had been."_

Harper was crying so hard now that Hannah's words were becoming difficult to hear over the sound of her own sobs. She hit pause. So, it wasn’t just one thing, it was all of it. Why hadn’t she been there? Why hadn’t she even just seen a little of what was happening, or done something about the things she had seen? Like the Hot-or-Not list. She knew all about that. Hell, she’d even made it on the list for "biggest tease", but it didn’t faze her, so she didn’t even consider how it made Hannah feel. After several minutes, Harper began to calm down a little. She wiped her tears and took a few deep breaths before pressing play once more.

_"It’s a shame you didn’t get to know me better, or anyone else at Liberty. If you had, maybe you would have been the friend I needed. You would have stood up to the bullies, the liars, all of them. I know you have it in you. And maybe, after hearing this, you still will do all those things, just not soon enough for it to have made a difference for me. Harper, you missed so much being caught up in your own little world. I only wished you had let me be a part of it. What comes next are the big things, the things I wish you had been with me for. I needed someone who could be my rock, my sunshine, my voice of reason, but you were as quiet as ever."_

Her tape ended there and the click of the cassette in the player let Harper know that it was over. She’d made it through the worst part. Hearing what she’d done, or rather, what she hadn’t, was the most difficult thing Harper had ever had to endure. To think that with a simple action, Harper may have been able to make life bearable for Hannah, but she’d just passively sat back and done nothing, not even asking how she was. That was what really broke Harper. Her best friend was gone, and she may have been the only one who could have changed that. A little more attention to the world around her, the toxic environment that school was for Hannah, and Harper could have fixed it, fixed everything for her, but she hadn’t. She hadn’t even tried.

Harper put the tapes back in the box, stuffed the whole thing in her backpack again and cracked her bedroom door open. Still, no one was home. Harper snuck back out as quickly and quietly as she had snuck in and made her way down the street. She had no idea where she was going now, but she needed to be on the move. Walking took her mind off things, or at least it usually did. Today was a different story. Nothing could shake the shame she felt for not having been there for Hannah. Nothing could brighten up her mood. Despite the warm sun on her as she walked, she felt as though she was caught in a storm.

Harper had walked quite a distance before she realized where she was. The Crestmont, where she and Hannah had first met. She felt like such a traitor just by being there. Harper sat outside in the alleyway just next to the building and moved on to the next tape. She didn’t want them in her possession any longer than she had to. It hurt her to even look at them anymore, but she had to listen to the rest. It was the one thing she could still do for Hannah.

It was just after school had let out that Harper finished with the last tape. She could tell by the people all waking past her with backpacks and textbooks in their hands. Listening to the rest of the tapes had only soured her mood more. She could have stopped all of it, couldn’t she have? Just by being there like a friend should. Harper did a quick google search on her phone, looking up Sheri's address. She was next on the list and Harper was more than ready to drop them off to her.

As Harper made her way to Sheri's, she assured herself that she wouldn’t have to see her, as she’d be at cheer practice. She could just drop them at the door and leave. She was acutely aware of the weight of the box of tapes in her bag now and it was making her uncomfortable. She sped up her pace. Finally, she reached Sheri's front door, and after double and triple checking the address, she unzipped her backpack and propped up the beat up shoebox by the doorway. Turning to leave, she spotted a familiar red car driving by. Harper ran towards it, knowing it was Tony. He should have absolutely no reason to be here, unless he was following her. Did he know something about the tapes? He wasn’t on them. Harper ran out to the edge of the road and called out to him, but he drove off as if he hadn’t noticed her. She watched until the car was out of sight, then sent him a text.

_Why were you at Sheri's? What do you know about the tapes?_ Harper sent it, knowing he wouldn’t reply until he was safely parked. Tony was responsible like that, but Harper didn’t want to wait for an answer, not that she had much of a choice. Having spent the day walking across town, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to walk a little more, and headed out in the direction of Padilla Automotive, where Tony no doubt would be heading as he always did after school.

Her phone buzzed at almost the same time that Padilla Automotive came into sight. _We need to talk_ , Tony's text read. Harper looked up before sending a reply and locked eyes with Tony's. Whatever she had been going to say next, she could say in person. Tony had some explaining to do.


End file.
